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Sorry for the infrequent updates recently. I just thought I'd let you all know:
My life is an absolute mess at the minute.
I feel like I've been living a lie for the past decade, I haven't been getting enough sleep and when I do, I have these rather bizarre and oftentimes frightening dreams that end with me waking up screaming, I've been involuntarily starving and dehydrating myself because my head is so jumbled up that I literally forget to eat or drink anything and I live in constant fear of the outside because of how many crimes occur on a weekly basis in my neighboorhood.
In the past couple weeks, I've written and re-written my suicide note over eight times. The nihilistic side of my brain is getting the better of me. It never used to be like this. And I have no one that I feel like I can talk to.
So I'm sorry I haven't been around to inform you all sooner, but I just don't feel like I can go on much longer. I may be taking a break soon to recollect myself.
Sorry again.
My life is an absolute mess at the minute.
I feel like I've been living a lie for the past decade, I haven't been getting enough sleep and when I do, I have these rather bizarre and oftentimes frightening dreams that end with me waking up screaming, I've been involuntarily starving and dehydrating myself because my head is so jumbled up that I literally forget to eat or drink anything and I live in constant fear of the outside because of how many crimes occur on a weekly basis in my neighboorhood.
In the past couple weeks, I've written and re-written my suicide note over eight times. The nihilistic side of my brain is getting the better of me. It never used to be like this. And I have no one that I feel like I can talk to.
So I'm sorry I haven't been around to inform you all sooner, but I just don't feel like I can go on much longer. I may be taking a break soon to recollect myself.
Sorry again.
So far, so good!
This Piece-A-Week thing's goin' pretty well, if I say so myself.
You may also notice I'm putting up other bits too.
I've been writing pieces with my friend Sam too, on a variety of different subjects.
I'm going to be posting another one up in a few days; fair warning, though: it's written in a two-layer cipher.
Transposition, then full-on scramble.
It may LOOK like random letters, but it does actually say something.
Be prepared.
I've been thinking...
You know how most artists on here do that Sketch-A-Day thing?
One sketch every day for a year?
I was thinking of doing a similar thing...
Piece-A-Week.
I write one piece of poetry every week for a year.
It's just something I've been pondering for a while now.
Nothing's set in stone yet, but watch this space.
You Idiot.
welp.
IIIIIII'm an idiot.
I'm sorry, Zaz.
I have a bit of a tendency to act on impulse and then immediately regret it afterwards.
Sorry. :/
Hope you can forgive me, though I'll understand if you don't.
Back From The Dead (UPDATE)
I have returned, albeit in a worse state than before.
I'll make it quick.
My laptop broke, I lost everything on it (and I mean EVERYTHING), then my cat which I've had since I was 3 died, I've had a few rough and stressful weeks at work, I've been returning home with violent diarrhoea, vomiting and crying my eyes out, my Mum's been really sick, as have I, so we've both been down the hospital quite a lot these past couple weeks, and at 22:02 pm, on the 17th of June, 2013, my grandmother passed away at 81 years of age.
I have been in a terrible mental state, hence why my messages to some of you may seem delayed or lacking enthusiasm and such.
© 2015 - 2024 DEADMEAT15
Comments3
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Hey there, Josef. One day at a time, bud. You're a talented poet... and poets are what they are because they're sensitive people. They straddle the edge of reality and dream and that's not always an easy thing. Trust me, life can get better, but it doesn't do so on its own. Note me, if you feel comfortable doing so. 